Why can’t I share good things with you? - Thomas

Thomas and Lee were rock climbing buddies. They met regularly at the climbing gym, spotting each other on difficult routes, and grabbing meals afterwards.

When Thomas shared about his job promotion, Lee grinned and said, "This promotion is long due. What took you so long?" He laughed. "Congratulations on your promotion anyway!"

Thomas laughed along, but something felt off. The joke had a edge to it.

When Thomas shared about his new home purchase in a prime district, Lee's eyebrows shot up. "Wah, you're rich! You can give me some money lah." He nudged Thomas playfully. "Oh, can I stay with you some time?"

Thomas smiled, unsure how to respond. Was Lee joking? Half-joking?

But when Thomas shared that he was having difficulties getting along with his supervisor, Lee's demeanour shifted completely. His face softened with sympathy. "That sounds really tough, man. Let me buy you a meal. You need to talk it out."

Over that meal, Lee listened attentively. He offered support. He was the friend Thomas needed in that moment.

Over time, Thomas noticed a pattern emerging in his own behaviour. He was no longer sharing positive news with Lee. When good things happened… a bonus, a holiday trip, a work achievement… he would think about mentioning it to Lee, then decide against it.

Instead, he only shared personal struggles and mishaps. Work stress. Family tensions. Small frustrations.

Upon reflection, Thomas realised why:
Doing so kept their interactions free of jealousy whilst retaining the benefit of companionship in their common activities.

But something nagged at him.

If he couldn't celebrate with Lee, were they really friends?