Was I part of the family? - Mei Hua

Mei Hua came from a generation where women were expected to hold the household together, and she took that role seriously. She was a foreigner and left her family-of-origin to set up home here.

For decades, she was the one who organised family gatherings. She remembered every birthday, every anniversary, every celebration. She made the phone calls. Sent the invitations. Planned the menus. Coordinated schedules.

When the family came together, it was because Mei Hua made it happen. She did the administrative work. The logistical planning. The emotional labor of keeping everyone connected.

The family gatherings were warm and full. Uncles, aunts, cousins, in-laws. Everyone laughing, eating, catching up. Year after year.

One day, Mei Hua fell sick. A terminal illness that left her weak and largely housebound.

The extended family stayed away. They had superstitious beliefs around sickness. They worried about evil spirits, about bad luck jumping from her onto them. They feared that coming into contact with her would make them fall sick too.

So they did not visit. They did not call as often. They kept their distance.

Mei Hua, too weak to organise gatherings anymore, stopped doing so. Without her doing the heavy lifting, the gatherings stopped happening.

Mei Hua watched from her bed as the family she had worked so hard to hold together simply drifted apart. And drifted away from her.

Now, in her illness, she had only her husband and her children by her side. All her in-laws had disappeared.

She wondered if she was ever truly considered family.