Am I his girlfriend or his secret? - Kirsty

Kirsty was dating Joe.

At least, she thought she was.

Joe didn't want her to call him her "boyfriend." He explained that he was in a complicated relationship status with his ex, and he didn't want to hurt her.

"We should be more discreet," he said. "Just until she gets over me."

Kirsty understood. She didn't want to be the person who caused someone pain. Joe's ex was still hurting, and rushing into something public felt cruel.

"We can't attend gatherings together," Joe told her. "It would hurt my ex if she found out. She's still fragile."

Kirsty nodded. She declined invitations where Joe might be mentioned. She kept their relationship off social media. She told her friends vague things like "I'm seeing someone" without details.

But Joe would like to hold her hands. Hug her. Kiss her. In private.

"When she's emotionally stronger, we can be public," he promised. "I just need to give her time."

Weeks turned into months. Kirsty waited. She kept their relationship hidden. She watched couples post photos together, wishing she could post one of her and Joe too.

One evening, a friend casually mentioned seeing Joe at a party. "He seemed really friendly with some woman. Are you two still together?"

Kirsty felt sick. Joe hadn't mentioned any party.

The biggest question that kept her awake at night: Was she actually Joe's girlfriend? Or was she the secret he kept while keeping his options open?

Six months in, Kirsty finally asked directly. "When exactly will your ex be ready? What does that even look like?"

Joe became defensive. "I can't put a timeline on someone else's healing. I thought you understood. I thought you cared about not hurting people."