Why should we be together? - Alice

Lee met Alice at a salsa class. She was beautiful, confident, accomplished. A high achiever at work with many admirers.

Lee pursued her with intensity. He said yes to what she wanted. Made himself available. Prioritised her needs.

She chose him.
Their relationship had a particular rhythm. She focused on her demanding career. He made sure her life ran smoothly. She made decisions. He supported them.
Lee was content with this arrangement. It worked for both of them.

When Chinese New Year came around, Lee brought Alice home for the festival.
Women of the family, including in-laws, gathered in the kitchen to prepare food together for the celebration.
But she sat at the dining table, laptop open, rushing to meet a work deadline.

"Can you bring me some water?" Alice asked Lee.
He did.
Lee's parents watched. Their disapproval was clear. They did not like what they saw.

Sharp comments followed.
About modern women. About respect. About what proper behaviour should look like.
Lee did not know what to say. The tension built throughout the day.

Alice finally closed her laptop. Looked at Lee. Then at his parents.
"I have had enough," she said. "Why should we be together?"

She ended the engagement.

Am I his girlfriend or his secret? - Kirsty

Kirsty was dating Joe.

At least, she thought she was.

Joe didn't want her to call him her "boyfriend." He explained that he was in a complicated relationship status with his ex, and he didn't want to hurt her.

"We should be more discreet," he said. "Just until she gets over me."

Kirsty understood. She didn't want to be the person who caused someone pain. Joe's ex was still hurting, and rushing into something public felt cruel.

"We can't attend gatherings together," Joe told her. "It would hurt my ex if she found out. She's still fragile."

Kirsty nodded. She declined invitations where Joe might be mentioned. She kept their relationship off social media. She told her friends vague things like "I'm seeing someone" without details.

But Joe would like to hold her hands. Hug her. Kiss her. In private.

"When she's emotionally stronger, we can be public," he promised. "I just need to give her time."

Weeks turned into months. Kirsty waited. She kept their relationship hidden. She watched couples post photos together, wishing she could post one of her and Joe too.

One evening, a friend casually mentioned seeing Joe at a party. "He seemed really friendly with some woman. Are you two still together?"

Kirsty felt sick. Joe hadn't mentioned any party.

The biggest question that kept her awake at night: Was she actually Joe's girlfriend? Or was she the secret he kept while keeping his options open?

Six months in, Kirsty finally asked directly. "When exactly will your ex be ready? What does that even look like?"

Joe became defensive. "I can't put a timeline on someone else's healing. I thought you understood. I thought you cared about not hurting people."

I brought it on myself. - Gaby

Gaby's friend brought her stargazing to celebrate her seventeenth birthday. He brought some alcoholic drinks as part of the celebration.

Emboldened by the alcohol, this friend confessed his feelings for her while they were lying down and looking up at the skies.

While she was processing what he said, he leaned over and placed his upper body over hers, and kissed her on her lips.

Gaby, her response speed compromised by alcohol, took a while to react. She pushed him away.

Shaken, she ran off to meet her partner, George, sharing the gist of what had happened.

George was incensed. But not at her friend. At her.

"How could you let yourself be in that position?" he demanded.

Later that night, while Gaby's head was still spinning from the earlier drinking, George ignored her protests. He pushed past their usual boundaries amidst feelings of intense jealousy.

The next morning, George confronted a more sober Gaby about what had happened with her friend.

They had conversations around how she should have set better boundaries to better protect their relationship. How she had been careless. How she had put herself in a vulnerable situation.

Gaby listened. She told herself that the pain she experienced that night was a gift to appease George, who was generally sensible and loving.

Men are supposed to want it, right? - Roland

Roland was a high flyer in his thirties and known in his industry. Newly divorced from a marriage of many years, he was apprehensive about entering into another relationship.

Once, after a networking event on a Friday night, he and his friends segued to a nearby club with a few ladies from another agency.

One of the women, Rei, had a crush on Roland.

The group spent the evening playing drinking games, with group-prescribed penalties that were increasingly physical as they became more inebriated.

When the group called it a night, Roland and Rei shared a cab back. She said she was staying in the same area.

In the cab, she requested to stay with Roland till morning. "I don't want to disturb my household," she said.

Roland, inebriated and tired, agreed.

While at his apartment, Rei emerged from the shower undressed before proceeding to his bedroom.

What happened next, Roland would struggle to piece together clearly. The alcohol. The exhaustion. The surprise of her walking in naked. The blur of it all.

Roland and Rei began a dating relationship later that week.

When his friends asked him how it happened, he said simply, "We slept together."

I feel grown up. - Shan Shan

Shan Shan was sixteen years old when she joined a club that made bows and arrows. Members were mostly adults.

Isaiah, a working professional in his late twenties, frequented the club. Upon seeing her enthusiasm, he began to coach her.

When he developed romantic feelings for her, he consulted his peers. They encouraged him to pursue the relationship. "Shan Shan comes across as very sensible for her age," they said.

Shan Shan was blown away by Isaiah's eloquence, generosity, and kindness. A working professional paying attention to her? She felt grown-up. Chosen.

They began a romance.

As the more sexually experienced one, Isaiah facilitated her "curiosities and exploration." He shared his experiences and others' experiences. He handled her body in specific ways, showing her what he liked. He showed her how she could tend to him, often in the context of play.

Coming from a well-to-do family and being financially independent, he was able to bring her on trips she would never have been able to afford. Hotels. Weekend getaways. Places that felt adult and sophisticated.

They had intercourse after a few months.

Isaiah would feel bad afterwards. But he reasoned with himself:
Shan Shan was already sexually mature. Her body was responsive to his touch, after all.

I don't want a divorce. - Cecilia

Cecilia was a mild-tempered working professional in her fifties. She had been married to her husband for thirty years and they had adult children.

Cecilia described her husband as thoughtful and romantic. He provided for the family dutifully and remembered to celebrate special occasions together. Their marriage seemed stable, comfortable.

One day, her husband shared his interest in swinging with other couples.

Cecilia felt her stomach drop. This was completely outside her world.

He gave her information on swinging. Articles. Forums. He arranged for her to meet people from the swinging community.

She went. The people she met were working professionals who behaved like normal people and had normal conversations. Lawyers. Teachers. Business owners. They weren't what she had imagined.

Still, Cecilia was reluctant.

But she didn't want to disappoint her husband. He seemed so enthusiastic. So certain this would be good for them.

She reasoned with herself: Times have progressed. She shouldn't be so conservative. As there was no money involved, this wasn't like prostitution. Rather, it was a way to rejuvenate their intimate life. That's what he said, anyway.

Cecilia agreed to try.

Her husband, a photography enthusiast, took shots of her where she was covered minimally. He posted these "artistic" shots on their social media accounts.

The photographs attracted other couples who were interested in swinging. He curated which couples they would swing with, managing the accounts, the conversations, the arrangements.

When Cecilia confided in a friend about the situation, she said quietly, "I don't have a habit of saying 'no' to him."

Her friend asked gently, "Do you want to do this?"

Cecilia looked away. "I don't want a divorce."

They were just curious. It was harmless fun. - Archer

A group of people in their twenties and thirties, mostly dating and married couples, rented a holiday beach house for a weekend getaway.

Among them was Archer, a casanova who regaled the group with his unending sexual escapades. He was charming, confident, and always had a new story to tell.

During this staycation, Archer brought a new face to the house. Donna. They had been seeing each other for a few weeks.

At some point during the afternoon, Archer and Donna disappeared into one of the bedrooms.

A few friends, guessing what was happening, found a small opening in the door. One leaned forward and peeped within.

Eyes widening, they beckoned excitedly to other friends. "Come look!"

They took turns peering through the gap. Hands covering their mouths. With barely contained giggles, they scurried back to the common area.

The discussion began immediately. Details about the sex act. Commentary on Donna's physical attributes, including her private areas. Comparisons to Archer's previous partners. Laughter and exaggerated gestures.

Later that evening, Donna joined the group for a meal and games. She smiled, chatted, played cards. She had no idea that several people in the room had just watched her most intimate moments. That they had discussed her naked body in explicit detail.

When Archer learned what had happened after the staycation, he laughed.

"Classic," he said, shaking his head with amusement.

He never told Donna.

I thought she loved me. Was I just a show? - Martin

Martin was in his late twenties when he fell in love with Nardia, a girl he met online.

Nardia was of similar age and an assertive, gregarious person who was doing well in her career. Martin was quiet and reserved. He looked up to her: Her confidence, her success, the way she moved through the world with such ease.

They began a sexual relationship. Martin felt fortunate. Someone like Nardia choosing someone like him felt like a gift.

One evening, while video-conferencing with Nardia, she told him to remove his clothes. This wasn't unusual for them. Their virtual intimacy had become part of their relationship.

Martin complied.

What he didn't know: Nardia's friends, a group of men and women of similar ages, were also looking at her computer screen.

Nardia happened to be hosting a gathering that evening. She had shared with her friends about Martin's sexual prowess and physique. They were curious about her descriptions.

So Nardia invited them to look at her computer screen while keeping out of Martin's sight. They watched silently, some covering their mouths to stifle laughter, others with eyes wide.

Martin, believing he was in an intimate moment with the woman he loved, was completely unaware.

Weeks later, Martin found out through a mutual acquaintance. Someone at the party had mentioned it casually, not realising Martin didn't know.

The humiliation hit him like a physical blow. Every intimate moment he had shared with Nardia replayed in his mind, now tainted. Had there been others watching? How many times?

I thought ‘return it when you can' was clear enough. - Ming

Ming's business was thriving. Life was good.

When he saw his sister juggling postgraduate education and part-time work to pay her tuition, he offered to help with her school fees. "You can return the money when you have a job," he said.

She was grateful and relieved.

When she experienced harassment while on public transport, Ming offered to help with the downpayment for a car. "You need to be safe," he told her.

Ming also helped his wife's family when his in-laws lost the roof over their heads. He provided the downpayment for an apartment. They had nowhere else to go, and he had the means to help.

Years passed. Ming's business became volatile. The steady profits dried up. Cash flow became tight. He needed to pull back on expenses and shore up his reserves.

Ming reached out to his sister, who had progressed well in her career, and his in-laws, who were now in good financial positions. "I need to ask for the money back," he said. "Things are tough right now."

They were surprised. "We thought you gave us the money," they said. "You never said these were loans."

Ming protested. "I said you could return it when you were able. That implies a loan."

They shook their heads. "It wasn't clear that the money transferred were loans."

They pointed out that they had shown gratitude and appreciation over the years. Gifts, snacks, birthday presents. Hadn't that been enough?

Besides, they argued, Ming was not in sufficiently dire straits. Unlike his in-laws' situation back then, Ming had not lost his apartment. Additionally, Ming's wife was a working professional and should be able to support his basic living costs.

"We have other essential expenditure," they explained. "Family trips. Dining at restaurants. The children's enrichment classes. We don't have spare cash right now."

Ming sat in stunned silence.

Isn't this what a good wife does? - Mei

Mei shares day-to-day happenings with her fitness trainer, Don. Her thoughts. Her feelings. He was affectionate, comforting, and encouraging.

Gradually, Don begins to ask for material and financial help. He talks about difficulties with his stagnant client pool. Money was tight.

When Mei hesitates, Don shifts the conversation. "I want you to be my wife," he says, his voice earnest. "I'm serious about you."

Mei feels her heart flutter. She begins to buy him what he asks for. She transfers money for his businesses. "We can build a future together," he tells her.

They marry.

Over the next ten years, Don continues to pursue multiple business ideas that never quite work out. He spends long hours at his offices, chasing the next opportunity.

Mei works as an accountant in a reputable firm. But she lives from hand to mouth. Every spare dollar goes to Don's ventures. She was unable to pursue her own interests or personal development. No courses. No hobbies. No savings of her own.

Though she was unhappy about this, she reasons with herself. Don's career was very important to him. She should support him as his wife. That was what good wives do.

Don often tells people how lucky he is. "I have such a loving wife who willingly supports me in my business. When I make it big, I'll give her a comfortable life to make up for all her sacrifices."

The comfortable life never comes. The business success remains just around the corner. Always almost there. Never quite arriving.

Mei looks at her reflection one morning and barely recognises herself. Where has she gone?